As expected, my pain increased, as well as the intensity and frequency of my seizures. I stopped sleeping, unable to ever calm myself down enough to relax. As January moved onto February, I finally gave in and quit taking my meds, allowing my body to work the chemicals out of my system and lose its developed immunity. I spent that hellish week at home in bed, howling at the top of my lungs while the seconds ticked by with sadistic slowness. Without anything to even muffle the full stimulation of all my pain receptors, my body was essentially ripping itself apart from the inside out. I couldn’t even tell when I was having a seizure or not, it just all felt the same. Every second, I felt like my flesh was being shredded away by flaming chainsaws while twin lobotomies were performed on my brain with jagged icicles. My parents had to stay home from work to take care of me, as I could not go to the bathroom or feed myself. They could do nothing but sit by my bed and listen to me scream,. He'd seen how neat she was in Bellows's apartment. What must she think?Her eyes were wide with dismay as they moved about the room.She turned to him."Jack?" Yeah, I know," he said. "Pretty messy, huh?" Would you mind if I straightened up a little?" Nah, listen, relax, I'll do it." Please. Let me. You're so nice to invite me to stay here until I find a place, it's the least I can do."Find a place. It terrified him. He pictured her renting an apartment on her own, getting a job as a waitress or something, being independent, maybe meeting someone else, maybe, innocent as she was, being hustled by some sweet- talking greasy little pansy who would abuse her."Don't worry about it, you can stay as long as you like, you don't have to do anything." But I want to. Please. You go out and--" She had opened the little refrigerator in the kitchen-in-the-closet, and was looking, nose wrinkled, at its contents: a quart of stale milk, a jar of olives, and half a head of rotten lettuce. .
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